This is my 100th Tips from JJ!

JJ's (June '11) Tips in this issue:

1. What Anger Does to Your Body!
2. JJ’s Favorite Quotes
3. Tele-Coaching, Mentoring, Training

Use the following tips as training tools.

Present this situation to your group and brainstorm solutions together, or submit your own situation question to be answered in an upcoming newsletter.


When was the last time someone pushed your button and made you frustrated or angry? How did you react?


This morning I was driving on a 4-lane street to find a new business where I had an appointment. As I slowed to turn into the correct driveway, the man in the car behind me in the only other car on the street tail-gated and honked at me. He was insisting that I get out of his way instead of moving to the other unoccupied lane.

He was a bully and it made me angry! As I waited for my appointment, I thought of a recent email I’d received from the Crucial Skills Newsletter. The co-author, Kerry Patterson, wrote about frustrating phone calls where you can’t talk to a live person and are stuck in the push-button ritual. He says that when you are finally able to speak to someone you feel such frustration and anger that you want to lash out at them. After all, they are the company to you at that moment, even though they are not responsible for its practices.

Before you unload on this person, remember what Patterson wrote. He said, “Consider the side effects of anger."

Keep in mind the impact you have on your health every time you become angry. When you allow petty annoyances to heap one upon the other until you eventually blow your stack, you harm not just those around you but also yourself.

Anger sends the message to your body that it's time to prepare for an upcoming blunt trauma. In response, your body thickens your blood so you won't bleed out. That's right, every time you get angry you produce cholesterol. And if this isn't enough to give you the yips, keep in mind that every time you blow a gasket you also weaken your immune system, stress your heart, and maybe worst of all, you become an angry person you really don't want to be.

So, the next time you're required to go through a button-pushing ritual—be prepared. Before you make the call, take a deep breath and be ready for the fact that you may be transferred around or otherwise bureaucratically pummeled. Fight your natural proclivity. Put on a smile—don't conjure up a counter-attack. In short, take charge of your response rather than vice versa. Don't brew up a fresh batch of cholesterol.

For full article:

Kerry Patterson is co-author of four best-selling books, Change Anything, Crucial Conversations, Crucial Confrontations, and Influencer.

Everyone has emotional buttons that can be pushed. When pushed, they cause frustration and anger. They generally show up when people aren’t treated the way they expected to be treated.

Whether it is in a business or a personal environment, think back to what you did to trigger the situation. Learn from it and change your ways if you are at fault. If not, realize that the other person has a problem and let it go! Move on to whatever distraction will help you feel the way you did before the blow-up. To stay healthy, it is a necessity!

If you are a company customer service rep, never take the venting personally that is inflicted on you. Listen with empathy as the customer vents. If you don’t and you start trying to solve the problem too quickly or give excuses, they will vent even longer with more anger because they’ll feel you are not listening. Keep your cool and get in your customer’s shoes. Feel their frustration and help them eventually work together with you to solve the situation.

Help them feel they were in good hands, and both of you will walk away much healthier.


“Any moment spent on hate is a moment wasted.”
- Fran Drescher (The Nanny & Happily Divorced TV shows)

“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


DO YOU WANT TO IMPROVE in an area? Service? Sales?

* Motivation and growth of your people?
* Dealing with irate internal or external customers?
* Leading and Coaching your staff?

TRY our one-on-one Tele-Mentoring (phone coaching service) that is available to business owners, executives, managers, supervisors and staff members.

Call for your FREE CONSULTATION now! 408 445-1590


Have you had an Evaluation of Your Environment lately so you could receive suggestions on improving it? (It's like the doctor's check up, you often don't know you need it, until after you've had it.)


JJ Lauderbaugh, CMC
408 445-1590, 1716 Husted Ave., San Jose, CA 95124.

JJ works with companies that want to give exceptional customer service to increase sales, and with Directors and Call Center/Help Desk Managers who want to improve human performance.

She's an international speaker, trainer, facilitator and certified management consultant (CMC) on customer service management, specializing in performance improvement, call centers, up/cross selling and outbound calling.

For training resources, free articles, tips and streaming video, go to our web site at:

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JJ Lauderbaugh, CMC, JJ Lauderbaugh & Associates, 2010. Reprinted with permission from JJ's Tips, a monthly internet newsletter. For your own personal subscription, email

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