JJ's (Mar 2012) Tips in this issue:

1. Communication Breakdowns
2. JJ's Favorite Quotes
3. Tele-Coaching & Tele-Mentoring


Use the following tips as training tools.

Present this situation to your group and brainstorm solutions together, or submit your own situation question to be answered in an upcoming newsletter.


A reader wrote, "I work with a person who is difficult to communicate with at times. She often jumps to the wrong conclusion and gets upset with what I say. Then she yells at me or loudly belittles herself for saying anything at all. She does not give me the benefit of the doubt or ask for clarification during these tense interactions. I feel blindsided when this happens because she is not like this in all of my communications with her. What can I do to create better communication between us so our teamwork will improve?


If this happens sometimes, but not all the time, perhaps certain team situations make her more sensitive. She may work better alone than on a team and your communications make her feel a loss of control. Therefore she takes offense at anything that sounds like a criticism or a difference of her opinion.

With a great deal of patience, understanding the natural way your teammates and you work best, alone or together, should help you compromise and diplomatically communicate better with each other.

Communication breakdowns are often caused by emotions that are triggered from past experiences. Everyone has experiences from their past that can trigger unbecoming communication behavior when they least expect it.

In evaluating the environment of call center agents and silent monitoring their conversations, I hear this happen all the time. When a person calling in says something or sounds like someone from their past that they have had an unresolved conflict with, they will instantly react. They feel the same old conflict and their responses will often be out of character for them.

Resolving old conflicts will eliminate the negative triggers if you are aware of what they are. If not, a therapist can help you uncover them so you will recognize why you have a tendency to react to similar situations. Then you can short circuit the negative response.

(Email me if you would like a free copy of Self Therapy -- Eliminating Past History, that many of my seminar participants have used.)

Peggy Klaus, a communications expert and author of a book, The Hard Truth About Soft Skills: Workplace Lessons Smart People Wished They'd Learned Sooner says, "People assume that their colleagues and employees know what they want, but they don't."

So how do you keep that communication breakdown from happening?

Klaus says that the first step is to reiterate the message you want to communicate. She says it isn't just repeating it over and over, but putting it in bullet points for someone who wants it in capsule form, or elaborating for someone who wants all the details.

Sherron Bienvenu, owner of the communication counseling company, Chinup says that communication isn't just about talking. "Real communications starts with listening." Listen to how the other person communicates and follow their lead. She says, "It's not about you." so "Get to the point."

"The idea behind good communication is to figure out how to say something so it will resonate with the other person."

The ability to lead, listen and communicate well are the most important qualities that a good boss can have according to a recent Business Pulse Poll. And it holds true that these are qualities that everyone needs to excel in for personal and professional success.


"Success means doing the best we can with what we have. Success is the doing, not the getting; in the trying, not the triumph. Success is a personal standard, reaching for the highest that is in us, becoming all that we can be."
- Zig Ziglar

"The big secret in life is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you're willing to work."
- Oprah Winfrey


DO YOU WANT TO IMPROVE in an area? Service? Sales?

* Motivation and growth of your people?
* Dealing with irate internal or external customers?
* Leading and Coaching your staff?

TRY our one-on-one Tele-Mentoring (phone coaching service) that is available to business owners, executives, managers, supervisors and staff members.

Call for your FREE CONSULTATION now! 408 445-1590


Have you had an Evaluation of Your Environment lately so you could receive suggestions on improving it? (It's like the doctor's check up, you often don't know you need it, until after you've had it.)



JJ Lauderbaugh, CMC
1716 Husted Ave.
San Jose, CA 95124
Phone 408 445-1590

JJ works with companies that want to give exceptional customer service to increase sales, and with Directors and Call Center/Help Desk Managers who want to improve human performance.

She's an international speaker, trainer, facilitator and certified management consultant (CMC) on customer service management, specializing in performance improvement, call centers, up/cross selling and outbound calling.

For training resources, free articles, tips and streaming video, go to our web site at:


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